Thursday, July 27, 2006

Play Date


The first boy I ever kissed was my best friend. His name was Jason.

We were little kids. His mom was white (like my mom) and his dad was black and absent (just like my dad). Our moms got along well, and often hooked us up for "play dates".

Boy, did we play.

Jason liked to go under his blanket with me. We would be under, giggling, when he would suddenly kiss me. We kissed a lot. We would then get out from under the blanket and play.

"You're my wife!" he would bellow at me.

"No I'm not! I'm gonna tell your Mommy!"

I ran from his room, finding his mom in the kitchen.

"Miss Cindy, Jason says I'm his wife. I don't want to be his wife. I want to be the husband!"

"You can't be the husband, Jaimie. Wait a minute, why am I having this conversation? What kind of games are you two playing in there?" She peered behind me into his room.

I ran back into the room.

"Kiss me again," I would tell him.

I wish it was all still so simple...

Who Was The First Person You Kissed?

Posted by Jaimie :: 12:52 PM :: 12 Peeked Into My Diary:

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Friday, July 21, 2006

The Diary of Two Virgins


The following is based on a true story.

Dear Diary,

Today I had sex with Brian for the first time. I can't believe it.

It happened in my bed, while my mom was gone. I didn't take all of my clothes off, and neither did he. I was too embarrassed.

It was alright, I guess. It's not like I have anything to compare it to. I hope he really loves me like he says he does. I think he does. He calls me every day and he always wants to see me. He's the best kisser ever.

There's my phone ringing...hold on...

Ok, that was Brian. He called to tell me he loved me.

I'll write more tomorrow.

Jaimie


Yo, Diary...

I had sex with Jaimie today. She was a virgin. So am I. I couldn't tell her that though. I'll tell her later. I wanted her to think I knew what I was doing.

I really do love her though. She knows it. I mean, I know we're only 15, but one day I might want to marry her. I can't tell the fellas that though. They would just clown me.

I like when Jaimie comes to my football games. I wish we went to the same school, so that I could see her every day. Moms likes Jaimie too. She's so nice to her its embarrassing.

Hold up...I gotta call her and tell her something...

Ok, I'm back. Told her I loved her.

Will write more tomorrow...

Brian

Who Was the First Person You Had Sex With?


Posted by Jaimie :: 8:29 PM :: 18 Peeked Into My Diary:

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Sunday, July 16, 2006

You Used to Love Me


Considering that I have been teaching Kindergarten for 8 years, I have seen a lot of students grow up before my eyes. Who I find the most interesting are the boys.

Let's consider a student who I had in my class this year. We'll call him "E" to protect his reputation.

"E" liked to make me happy. He liked for me to acknowledge everything he did right. He absolutely loved to give me hugs.

One day "E" brought me flowers before school. "Thank you," I said, placing the flowers on my desk.

The class sat on the rug and we began our opening activities. "E"'s hand shot up in the air. "Uh, Ms. L, are you going to tell everyone about the flowers I brought you?"

"Now?" I asked. "Ok, everyone, "E" brought me lovely flowers today. Thank you. Let's continue with the Calendar. What day is it today class?"

"Ms. L?" It was "E" again.

"Yes?"

"Will you tell everyone how much you love the flowers?"

And so, to boost "E"'s longing for recognition, I told the class about how much I love the flowers.

Fast Forward 6 years...

Suddenly, boys who used to "love me", bring me flowers, apples, and presents look down when I pass them in the hall.

"Didn't you used to teach him?" my coworker asks.

"Yeah," I said, "And him, and him, and him over there too. They act like they don't know me anymore. I remember every single one of them, but I can't even get them to look me in the eye now."

"They're probably embarrassed," she said. "I mean, think about it...they're practically 12 year olds, they probably had a crush on you, and not only that, they have to see you walking the halls every day. They know that you know that they loved you." She laughed.

Did You Ever Have a Crush On One of Your Teachers?







Posted by Jaimie :: 5:41 PM :: 22 Peeked Into My Diary:

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The Interview


I've grown to like Bossmack. I think its so cute that he has shirts made with his name on them, and I have much respect for him for showing up at the West Coast Blogging Hotties Dinner, in full effect (although I wasn't there). If the name Bossmack is new to you, he is a man who dedicates his entire blog to his bitches. Yup.

Here is a repost of my interview with him.

Enjoy!

Jaimie: What is your first name?

Bossmack: James

Jaimie: Where were you born?

Bossmack: Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Jaimie: Tell me how old you are.

Bossmack: 32

Jaimie: Tell me what your blog is about.

Bossmack: My blog is about the adventures of Tha BossMack TopSoil, a Mackman; not a pimp. There's a difference, but I'll elaborate on that later. My blog also is a discussion in techniques that can be used to gain an edge on your mate, specifically women, however some of the techniques discussed here can be used on men by women. On a deeper level I feel I give the readers a certain view of the inner urban Los Angeles cityscape, which includes Long Beach, Compton, Watts etc.

It is my intention to shock the readers with vulgar language, and vivid character portrayals. The writing is real, yet it almost always comes off as humorous.

I would also like to add, the way I write on the blog is like the way I talk to one of my Niggas on the street, straight hard conversation.

Jaimie: Has anyone ever gotten really angry at you for what you write on your blog?

Bossmack: Yes, you. I remember when you seemed like you were upset with me. All I did was notice that you were from Los Angeles, and that you were a professional, so I offered to put you on the guest list for the Conga Room on Saturday Nights. You went on to shit all over me, like I had called you a bitch or tried to get at you. I thought it was funny. I appreciated the post you dedicated to me also. I know I kind of went on a tangent there, but yes people do get upset, and it's expected.

Jaimie: From what you know of me, would you refer to me as a bitch, like "I like that bitch Jaimie's blog," ?

Bossmack: LMBAO! You know what, I have already done that. When you wrote that post "Beat Him Up!", I told my Niggas, "Look at this bitch right here, she hates my guts and she doesn't even know me". So I started reading your blog everyday, and thus I came to respect your writing and perspective of life, so now I say "Jaimie is a sagacious bitch for real, I like her blog". Don't be offended.

Jaimie: I'll try not to be. Would you ever call me a bitch to my face?

Bossmack: It is in the realm of possibility, but highly doubtful. You would have to say some ugly things to me first, and thus force me into a position of defending myself. I would like to say this, judging from the way you handle your dude right now, I really doubt I would say that to you.


Jaimie: What makes a woman a bitch?

Bossmack: In my opinion the word "Bitch" is like the word "Nigga". They both have a huge dynamic range of context. Both words can be used with extreme love, and both can be used with extreme hate. I love that about both words.

When I was small, about 7 years old, I used to watch my uncle handle women. He was a pimp for a minute back in the day. He never called women "Bitches" when he knew I was around, but somtimes I'd be around and he didn't know it, and it always fascinated me the effect that that word had on women when he said it.

So I started going around calling women bitches, just to see them get mad. I found out the hard way not to call Moms that. I called her a "Bitch" one day under my breath and I thought she slapped my head off.

Now at the same time, I have heard many women call each other bitches with love. I believe words are vehicles for emotion. I also feel that all women have to be bitches everyday to a degree just to defend themselves inthe world on a daily basis.

I'm sure from time to time as a teacher you have to act like a bitch toward the administration, or else they would run you over or take your needs for granted. So therefore, all women have a degree of "Bitch" in them. Shit, some Niggas is Bitches too.

Jaimie: If you had to choose between a lifetime of good sex with random women or a lifetime of being with one companion who was your best friend and lover, what would you choose?

Bossmack: Hmmmm, I really don't have sex with random women now. I have a set of females I deal with, but it takes me a while to have sex with a new female. I am loquacious. I need to know a lot about my females. I am going to end up with one female in the end. Thats what happens to all Macks eventually. Macking is not really about having sex. It's really about conversation and the promise of sex.

Jaimie: Have you ever been in a serious relationship for a long time?

Bossmack: Yes I have, and it turned me into who I am today. I have been in love with love, ya dig? It's like you know, your first big love, you don't know what you would do without this person. If they deficated it would smell like Channel perfume to you. In the end it was brutal, yet it had to happen. I used to be a sucka, but I still had principles. I stood on principle and suffered a horrible heartbreak, yet I came out at the other end relucent.

Jaimie: Would you say your heartbreak led to your misogynist view of women?

Bossmack: I would say my heartbreak made me realize certain things about relationships. My mysogynist views have been strong since I was small. I have seen women destroy weak men, many times.

Jaimie: Thank you Bossmack.

Bossmack: Much Love. Keep doing what you do!

What Do You Think of Bossmack?


Posted by Jaimie :: 8:08 PM :: 34 Peeked Into My Diary:

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Whore Speaks


Ok, I admit it: I'm a little sensitive.

Like when PuertoRock called me a "dirty whore." I suppose he was entitled; I mean, I did write about using men to get what I want. I suppose I did open myself up for a little male backlash. And then, surprisingly PuertoRock came back quite respectfully, commenting peacefully about other issues.

I still felt slightly like a dirty whore, though.

So when "Anonymous" called me an idiot, I was hurt. Keep in mind though, I had just been called a "stupid crazy whore" by the sperm donor of my daughter (also known as "Satan"), so I was a wee, bit sensitive.

One thing I did not realize is that people across the world actually read this blog. Many people read this blog, but never comment. I had no idea that people really cared that much about what I write.

Thank you.

Oh, and by the way: I prefer "slut" to "whore."

What Surprises You The Most About People?



Posted by Jaimie :: 9:33 AM :: 19 Peeked Into My Diary:

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