Thursday, June 22, 2006

It's All About Me


A healthy relationship goes something like this: The two people involved in the relationship respect one another and comprise with each other. They discuss important issues and do not make huge decisions without first consulting with their partner. They are each others' first resource. They do not lie to each other. They do not steal from one another. They do not cheat on each other.

My marriage did not contain one aspect of anything that I wrote above. My ex-husband had a narcissistic personality disorder, and I didn't even know it.

I was not blind. There were things that didn't make sense to me, like: Why did he say that he loved me, and then search on Match.Com for available women? Why did he say that he was not an alcoholic, but was unable to stop drinking? Why did he yell at me for being terrible with money, then steal $500 a month from my checking account every month, without any explanation? Why did he brag to everyone about how beautiful I was, and then pick on me about every one of my physical attributes? Why did he say that he loved being at home, and then disappear all night? Why did he not care about how he made me suffer, but break into uncontrollable crying over shows on television?

Now, that we are apart, but have to share time with our daughter, I listen to him whine and tantrum about how I didn't love him. I listen to him rant about how he was never drunk and never layed a hand on me. I listen to him lie, and then listen as I hear the click of the phone as he hangs up on me with all of his fantasies still swirling around in his head.

His reality is a lie. His life is a fantasy.

Why Are Some People So F***ing Crazy?

Posted by Jaimie :: 5:00 PM :: 29 Peeked Into My Diary:

.:Write In My Diary:.

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