Tuesday, February 21, 2006

RED FLAGS

I will be moving soon. Life is hectic and busy (in other words, I have no time for this blogging business). So, in desperation, I have done a REPOST. I picked one that many seemed to enjoy, and one that everyone can relate to. If you don't hear from me in a while, trust that James has not thrown me into the bottom of the Pacific Ocean, but rather I am lost among cardboard boxes. Enjoy! And I will read all of your comments...cross my fingers...

Here's me, in my prom picture. The year was 1994, and my prom date was a Loser.

I met him the summer before senior year of high school at a restaurant in Beverly Hills. After a few dates he told me he was in love with me, but he was going to Japan, where he would be stationed for a year. Red Flag: Never believe a man who says he loves you, and then leaves the country.

He wrote almost every day, and called me quite often. He promised that he would return in May, just for my prom-and he did-unfortunately.

He showed up at my house with his mom, sister, and camera in tow. Red Flag: Never date a man who is a mama's boy. This was fine, except we were running late and I was supposed to meet my friends outside of the hotel in downtown LA where the prom was held. I forced a smile for his mother's camera flash about 50 times, before I asked, "So, where's the limo?" "Oh, I didn't get a limo," he said hastily. "We're taking my sister's Honda." Red Flag: Never date a man who doesn't get a limo on your big night.

His sister's Honda was about 7 years old and dusty. "Well, make sure you park underground so no one sees me," I said, frowning, staring at the car before me. "Oh, and before we get there, stop at the liquor store so I can get some wine."

"What?" he asked increduosly. "What do you need wine for?" Red Flag: Never date a man who won't let you drink wine. "What do you mean, 'what do I need wine for?' This is my prom! Pull into the liquor store!" He rolled his eyes at me and muttered something under his breath, but he did what he was told.

20 minutes later (because it only takes 20 minutes to get anywhere in LA) we were at the hotel. My friend Brandy was outside, waiting for me. "Hey, girl." "Hi!" I said waving, walking towards her. Loser stayed behind, staring at me. "Get over here," I said. "I want you to meet Brandy." "Hi," he mumbled. Red Flag: Never date a man who doesn't want to meet your friends.

As soon as we got into the hotel I wanted to dance. "Come on, let's dance," I begged. "I don't like this song," he complained. Five minutes later, when a song came on I thought he would like, he said "I don't like this one either." Red Flag: Never date a man who doesn't dance. Finally, after growing tired of sitting, I said,"Well if you won't dance with me, I'll find someone who will!" I stood up dramatically and knocked the table a little bit. This was enough for Loser, who was quite jealous and possessive. "I'll dance with you," he said. Red Flag: Never date a man who is only interested in you when he thinks you might have sexual intercourse with another man.

It was now time for us to take our prom picture. "Can you try to look normal?" I asked. "I mean, can you at least try to make it look like you're having a good time with me in the picture?" "What do you mean?" he asked. "Wellll..." I said slowly. "Sometimes you look kinda retarded in pictures." "Just because you said that I'm going to fuck up your prom picture!" he said in a huff. Red Flag: Never date a man who makes idle threats.

I had no idea how he looked in the picture because my back was to him, but as the photographer's camera flashed I silently prayed that he didn't look like a retard. Once prom was over, I asked him where we were going next. "What do you mean, 'where are we going?'" he asked. "We're picking up take-out at Jerry's Deli and we're going back to your place! I already called and ordered it. Corned beef, right?" "Yuck! No! I hate corned beef! And I want to go out! Oh, never mind. Whatever." I silently fumed. Red Flag: Never date a man who doesn't know what you like to eat.

When we got back to my house my mom asked, "How was prom honey?" Before I could answer, he said, "It was great!" I glared at him and took my corned beef to my bedroom while he followed me in there. We spent the rest of the night eating on my floor and talking about-God-what did we talk about? Red Flag: Never date a man who only provides meaningless conversation.


Do not ignore Red Flags. They are quite informative, and if looked at in a different way, quite hilarious.

What's The Biggest Red Flag For You?

Posted by Jaimie :: 6:09 PM :: 54 Peeked Into My Diary:

.:Write In My Diary:.

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