Sunday, November 06, 2005
The Panty Bandit
When I was in college I lived in a co-ed dorm. I never had any problems living amongst a bunch of guys, until about half-way through my freshmen year.
There was one laundry room for every floor of the dorm. One day I placed all of my dirty clothes in the washer. I went back to my room. I never stayed in the laundry room while my clothes were being washed.
After my clothes were washed I put them into the dryer. I left again, and came back when they were done. I loaded all of my clean, dry clothes into my laundry basket and went back to my dorm room. It was here that I would find ALL of my panties were gone.
I did not notice right away that anything was amiss, but it didn't take long before I noticed that I wasn't putting any panties away into my drawers.
My roommate walked in. I must have looked perplexed because she asked:
roommate: What's wrong?
me: Uh, my panties are not here.
roommate: What do you mean your 'panties are not here'?
me: I mean, they're not here. Gone. Missing.
me: Why are you laughing!!! This isn't funny!!! Now I have to go buy about 50 new pairs of panties!!!
roommate: OOh this is so exciting. You know what this means, don't you?
me: What? That you're coming with me to the mall?
roommate: No, silly. This means there's a panty bandit on the loose!
She got a clever gleam in her eye. She grabbed my hand and said cheerfully, "Come on!"
We walked down the hall to the dorm floor director. He was sitting at the desk in his room looking over a biology book. "Yes?" he asked, stifling a yawn.
"There's a panty bandit loose on the floor, and he stole her panties!" my roommate began, pointing to my crotch.
"That's funny," he said and closed his door.
"Forget him, Jaimie. If he won't help us, we'll have to do it ourselves!"
She marched back to our dorm room with me trailing behind her. I began silently calculating in my mind how much it would cost to replace all of my panties when she shouted, "I know what we'll do! We'll make signs...yes, that's what we'll do! We'll make signs and post them all over the dorm. We'll warn all of the girls here that their panties are in danger. That disgusting pig can't get away with this!"
She was excited, which made me become excited. No, I would not let this disgusting pig do this to another girl.
"Well, anyway," she continued. "We'll have to start on this when I get back. I'm going out with Chris tonight."
"What? I thought you were going to help me?" I asked, shocked.
"I'll still help you, silly. Tomorrow." She grabbed her purse and left.
I got up the next morning and remembered that I had no clean panties to put on. I knew that I would be spending the day at the mall. Before getting into the shower, I took the elevator down to the first floor to check my mailbox. I rode the elevator back up to my floor and passed the laundry room, and there they were. ALL OF MY PANTIES WERE SITTING NICELY FOLDED ON THE LAUNDRY TABLE.
I gathered them together and carried them back to my room. There is a lesson to be learned by this strange and hilarious event: Never leave your panties alone.
Posted by Jaimie ::
7:25 AM ::
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